For the Love of Savanna

Everyone told me, "Savanna will LOVE Cheerios. They wil help her with her fine motor skills, she'll gain confidence from self feeding, and on and on and on". And, Savanna does love Cheerios, any flavor-- regular, Honey Nut, Berry Burst, Multi Grain.

What I wasn't told is that CHEERIO BREATH IS ENOUGH TO KILL A PERSON!

I just couln't take it anymore, not one more day.

Off to the store I went...

I got  and now Savanna loves to do this  more than she loves to eat Cheerios! Whoo Hoooo!

.... Mom and Savanna will now live happily ever after.

Thanks Kate for tagging me. Go to page 123 of the book you are reading and type the first 6-8 sentences. Can you guess what book this is from?

Your greatest challenge is to become aware of sensory stimuli that may trigger your child. Because you do not personally experience the sensations your highly sensitive child does,  it may be easy for you to miss potential triggers. Even when you don't sense it, try to affirm your child's feelings. Believe her and be willing to leave when she tells you that she cannot eat in a restaurant because the smell of jalepenos is making her sick. Understand, too, that going to the movie theatre, amusement park, or mall is an endurance test, not fun for highly sensitive people. Your sensitive child is not trying to control you when she asks to go home. Truly, the stimuli are driving her wild.

Yeah, I bet Leigh is the only one who might have guessed what book this paragraph is from. Leigh recently gave me a great book list and I've been "ordering" away. Please stop by her blog. She has a wealth of information to share and is an "experienced" mom. She is a new friend and I greatly respect her.

Okay, okay... the name of the book is "Kids, Parents, and Power Struggles" by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka. Leigh highly recommended this book and I understand its value. I'm only on page 80 but what I've read so far is EXCELLENT. This book should be a "must read" for all prospective parents. The basic premise of the book is how to stay "connected" with your child-- really trying to understand the emotional reasons for your child's behavior, naming the feeling, helping your child to express various emotions in a healthy way. When a parent is really "connected" there is less need for the child or parent to engage in power struggles. The best part-- the information in this book will help you to develop a long lasting (definitely life long) rewarding relationship with your child. I'll do a complete book review when I'm done (I hope it will be before the year is over!).

Now it's my turn to "tag" (drumroll please)... Leigh , Kim, Lucinda, Kelley, Suzanne, Angel, Stacy, and Mary (if we can drag her away from the Webkinz website) you're it! All my blog buddies can do this too! Please join the book meme tag.

Savanna update-- doing better. Is still taking antibiotics. Went to Patti's today and kept trying to take Peyton's doll away from her all day long. Peyton was Savanna's best friend. I hope all is forgiven tomorrow.

My sweet girl is sick. She has a chest, nasal, and double ear infection. Savanna is on antibiotics and is taking Motrin to keep the fever down. 

My poor little girl.

It scares me every time she gets sick. It's strange, I feel confident in so many areas of my life, but  the "Mom" part of me is still a bit insecure.

(See  previous 2 posts). Something so small as getting new clothes made a precious little girl, Cheyanne, so happy. You should have seen her face when I walked through the door (I left the clothes with Patti in the morning so Cheyanne could try them on after school, before I picked Savanna up, to prevent any embarrassment she might feel). When Cheyanne saw me she just kept telling me, "thank you for the new clothes" and "I already know which ones I'm gonna wear to school tomorrow". Her face glowed with excitement. I was pleased that everything fit. But most of all, I was happy to have made a little girl happy. I was happy that I made a new "friend" too. There is something very special about little Cheyanne. She has the most understanding eyes, kindness and sensitivity that goes much beyond her 8 years. I do believe I could raise her as my own. Only, I can't.

I can't because Cheyanne's mother is back on the scene (and her family would likely not allow her to be fostered or adopted). She is a young mother, 26 years old (I know, NOT that young. But to this ole gal, she's young). Unfortunately, drugs have a strong grip on her. They are destroying her life and she is blind to their effects. She lives to get high. If she could know the love from her child she would know it is the best "high" there is. I believe there is hope for Cheyanne's mom. Many have walked the same destructive path she is on. And many have taken the same path and chose a more healthy road to travel. I hope the latter will be her destiny.

I wish I could talk to Cheyanne's mom. I would tell her, "I care about you because I care about your daughter. Your daughter is worth your saving yourself". I would try to help. I would gently, or not so gently, knock on the doors of denial. I would get her resources that would outline a clear path of hope and recovery.

But, all I can do is pray.

And, do what I can to meet a need.

 ...Like mother, like daughter. What can I say?

There's never a dull moment....

is she goes to Patti's, Savanna's baby sitter, several days during the week. She is a beautiful little Hispanic girl. She is 8 years old. He hair is very long and oily. She recently had lice. Her mom abandoned her about a month ago. She is staying with her great grandparents and she isn't happy.  And, she loves playing with Savanna. She plays with her so gently and sweetly. I was told she is good to all of the children.

I found out on Friday that she wore the same clothes to school for 3 days in a row. And, my heart sank. I worried that her classmates would make fun of her, ostracize her. She needs love and support, kindness, right now, not more pain. So, Savanna and I went shopping. This is what Savanna will give her tomorrow.  I hope the little girl will like them. I don't want her to feel embarrassed.

And, here's Savanna with her first Twinkies experience (Kate, don't kill me). Do you think she liked it?

 Well, she liked it alright! Now I'm running around the house trying to chase her down! Yes, I know, there is a consequence for every behavior!

I found my favorite hair color

The shade was reddish brown

But when it was time to color again

#55 was no where to be found

I know all of you purchasing #55 are

innocent as can be

But if you could see my two-toned

hair right now

You'd say "I can't believe what I see!"

So, have mercy on this poor soul

And rescue me from this sad fate.

Just leave Revlon #55 on the shelves

And assure me it's not too late.

First, let me say, "THANK YOU" to all you brave souls who introduced yourselves to me. It was nice to meet you and feel free to read in "lurkdome" or leave comments. I do know there are many more of you who didn't "come out"; I hope you will in time. I like to meet new people, and who knows, we might learn something new from one another.

On Sunday I woke up and did the normal pleading with Savanna routine and b-e-g-g-e-d her to sleep in, just an hour more (it was5:00 a.m.). It did me NO good. So I proceeded to do the normal stretching, yawning, and finally got up. I tried to brush my teeth (didn't want my breath to knock Savanna out) and guess what? There was no running water, zip, nada, zilch. I asked myself, "Self, did you forget to pay the water bill?" to which Self replied, "I don't think so. You have never forgetten to pay a bill in the past". So I waited until 8 a.m. (poor Savanna) and called the City Water dept (they referred me to the police department. Funny huh? Very small town feel where I live. I love it). The police dispatcher paged the "water guy" who promptly called me back (good service in my small town). "Water Guy" told me that my pipes were frozen! What?! I've lived in Southern California for 41 years and NEVER have my pipes froze. Well, folks, I'm here to tell you that that is exactly what happend. Water Guy told me to turn the water pressure up, turn the faucet on and water will stream out in a few hours. He was right. But, even today, I'm still shocked that my pipes froze! They froze at 25 degrees. And, my poor plants. My poor, poor, poor plants. Okay, time  to change the subject...

I was eventually able to brush my teeth if you were worried about Savanna.

Sunday afternoon Savanna and I drove to Malibu, about an hour and 15 minute drive to visit some friends.  It was a treat to see my spiritual teacher/mentor, Amsheva, who was in town. I had not seen her in nearly 5 years. She is such a breath of fresh air. Amsheva has extensively studied meditation, ayurvedic medicine, and other healing arts. She has lived in India and has adopted 3 children from there (they are adults now, doing great). Amsheva has dedicated her life to helping those in need and I have the utmost respect for her. It was really special to visit with her and my other friends. Here are some pictures from the week-end (Amsheva, my friends, view of Pacific Ocean from friend's house in Malibu): ... blog.com is having problems so I can't upload the pictures right now. I have to send an email to their IT dept.

One last thing on a totally different note, Leigh, a new blog buddy (who came out of "lurkdome") referred me to this website. It has valuable information for those who have adopted or those considering it. PLEASE check it out.

I've recently spent a great deal of time on half.ebay.com ordering adoption and parenting books (great prices for used/new books). I will share what I learn. I want to be the best mom I can be. Savanna deserves that, plus, I enjoy learning new information. Hey, maybe I'll have a book review day, like every Wednesday. It would be great if my blog buddies could do the same thing and we could all learn from each other. How about it? Oops, it can't be on Wednesday because "American Idol" is on. How about Thursdays?

Now, I must re-write the Spansih translated letter (thanks Julie) to Aura and send her a couple pictures of Savanna.  She loves to get "Savanna updates". It's the least I can do.

Well, "National" might be stretching it some, but I like the way it sounds. Heck, why not make it a National holiday? Another day off from work so we can read blogs definitely works for me!

Okay, I know there a several folks that read this blog, and I'm glad that you do. It helps me, and hopefully, it helps you too (or maybe you are just amused by my crazy life).

 "National Delurker Day" is the time to leave a comment, let me know you are there, say "hi" or a bit more, until next year when it's time to do the same thing all over again. Don't worry, you can go back into "lurk" mode right after you say "hi". To tell you the truth, I'm just as curious about you as you are about me (and Savanna).

Thank you,

Betsy 

When I have time alone (on my way to work) I ask myself "what core values do I want to instill in Savanna and how will I go about teaching her these core values? "Compassion" is very high on my list. And, now that Savanna has been known to bite other kids (2-3 times), push and shove "the pugs" on a daily basis, and has pulled her mother's lovely locks and taken a swipe or two at her face, I've decided to stop "thinking" and have a procative "compassion action plan". I will (hopefully):

Be gentle-- I will tell her, "our hands are not meant to hurt people or animals, but to be kind and loving". I will take her hands in mine and demonstrate what a gentle touch is. My voice will be calm and affable.

Speak softly-- to Savanna when she is in pain. When someone else is in pain I will demonstrate kindess (giving a hug, bringing food/water, sending a card, giving flowers, say comforting words).

Correct rudeness-- I will tell her, in a loving but firm voice, "you cannot bite people or push the dogs, pull my hair, or hit my face" and remove her hand from whatever is causing pain. Part of learning compassion is not allowing mistreatment of others, including her Mom.

Provide consequences: A minute or two in "time out" will do for now. She's only 17 months old. Predicting when Savanna will act on impulse and removing her from the situation will work great too. 

Say, "I'm sorry"-- I'm not perfect (no, really, I'm not) and Savanna needs to know that "I blow it sometimes". If I say, "I'm sorry" to her she will learn to say it too.

Provide structure (or rules): To be a loving mom, I have to set rules about unacceptable behavior. For example, "hitting" or "pulling hair" or "name calling" will always be unacceptable.

Use good manners: I will teach her to say, "please", "thank you", "pardon me", "excuse me" at the appropriate times so that she can be compassionate and respectful towards others.

Describe her acts of kindness: When Savanna is kind (which she is. She loves to rub my aunt's sore legs, give the pugs, me, grandma, her "baby" hugs and kisses, share her food, etc.) I will label her actions as "compassionate", "thoughtful", "caring", "loving", "sensitive", "kind". Over time, she will learn that I value these behaviors and will want to do more of them. Eventually, they will have their own rewards.

Not talk negatively about other people: If I want Savanna to have a spirit of compassion, thoughtfulness, and generosity towards others,  I can't say or do, mean or hurtful things. I am her role model and she is LISTENING and WATCHING me ALL OF THE TIME.

I think this list will be modified when she is older. This list will keep me busy for awhile.

It's a big responsibility being a parent, isn't it? How will you teach compassion to your child? I'm open to ideas here folks.