For the Love of Savanna

Okay, this is the skinny.... so, I'm leaning back on my recliner with a baby Savanna sleeping once again on my torso. R-I-N-G, R-I-N-G, goes the phone. I pick up and it's a teller from my bank. The gal on the other end says, "Um, do you know a Maria Guiterrez?" I think long and hard, "no, I don't believe so". The bank gal says, "do you remember who you made check 3216 out to?" I check my register and tell her the name of my mortgage company, let's say, "Winchester". Well, come to find out, that Ms. Maria Guiterrez stole my check (witnessed by someone else) from my mailbox yesterday and went to my bank today to cash a $1984 check! She wrote "or Maria Guiterrez" next to "Winchester". Stupid ass. She gave my bank her ID and when the teller starting asking questions she split.

I was happy to get another phone call from a police officer who was on his way over to Ms. Maria Guiterrez' home to arrest her. Yes, charges will be pressed. Two tellers can positively ID her.

What is with people? There really is such a thing as karma, "reap what you sow". What ever happened to people following the "golden rule"? I just don't get it.

I had a few moments, well maybe more like a few hours, of sadness as I thought about how lies, lack of integrity, crime hurt so many people. I wish it weren't so.

Wow, how my life has changed! NO MORE SLEEPING IN!! It's up at 3 a.m. for a diaper change. Up at 4:30 a.m. for a bottle (sometimes I can coax Savanna back to sleep by walking her back and forth and shaking her hiney at the same time). If I'm lucky enough to get her back to sleep, it's definitely up by 6:30 a.m. I do awake to a smiley happy face who says, "da da da da da". Now, if I could hear "ma ma ma ma" we'd be in great shape!

At 7 a.m. the Queen and I go downstairs and play for an hour or so. She actually likes cartoons (no, I'm not pushing that on her). I think she likes the bright colors and the music.

Diaper change.

At 9 a.m. she is fed her breakfast (1/2 bottle of Gerber's oatmeal cereal and 1/2 bottle of fruit). She gets another bottle too. Savanna LOVES her bottle. The doctor changed her formula from Similac Advance to Similac Isomil because of the diarrhea. It has helped tremendously but hasn't totally resolved the problem.

Diaper change.

At 10 a.m. it's bath time. Savanna loves her bath. I bathe her in the kitchen sink (she got her first bath at home from my mom). She laughs when she splashes the water with her hands. Very cute.

Diaper change.

I thank the dear Lord when it's 11 a.m. because it's NAP time. Glory Hallelujah. Sometimes the Queen will even nap for 45 min. If it's a great day, she's down for 1 hour. She always wakes up in a good mood.

Diaper change.

It's more play time from 11 a.m. to 1:30 p.m.. Gets another bottle some time in there too. Guzzle, guzzle, guzzle.

Diaper change.

At 1:30 p.m. she gets lunch (Gerber's mac and cheese, veggies, sometimes it's an all fruit meal).

Diaper change.

Around 3 p.m. it's "Glory Hallelujah" time. I'm trying to get the Queen to transition from sleeping on my torso to a travelling crib that is now in my family room.  It's working s-l-o-w-l-y. Hey, but it's a step in the right direction.

Diaper change.

From 4 p.m. to 6 p.m. it's more play time. Oh, did I tell you that I'm her primary play mate? Did I mention that if old Momma leaves the room, just to pee, that my sweet Queen exercises her lungs to the extreme? Well, my loves, my baby girl wants all of this old gal's attention all of the time. What does this mean for her Mom you might wonder? It means wearing the same clothes for too many damn days in a row. I've stopped thinking about wearing clothes that match. The question I ask is, "how fast can I put anything on before Savanna starts crying?" Make up? Pretty much out of the question right now. Shower? Lucky if I get one every other day. Shaving? I've been cured.

Diaper change.

At 6 p.m. it's dinner time and Savanna's least favorite meal. She doesn't much care for chicken or beef. Kinda makes her gag. She loves carrots though. Gets another bottle which makes her happy.

We get another 1/2 hour of Glory Hallelujah after dinner. She naps until around 7 p.m.

Diaper change.

Play time with Momma  from 7 p.m. until 9:30 p.m.

Diaper change.

We go to beddy bye at 10 p.m. Savanna is sleeping with me, something I thought I would never do. But here's the thing, she wakes up a lot during the night and cries  the scared kind of cry, the kind that makes your heart break. When I pat her back and talk softly to her she goes back to sleep. If she holds my finger she usually falls asleep pretty fast. This week she's only awakened 2 times, not every hour like the previous weeks. I hope to transition her to her traveller's crib, and finally to her own crib as soon as I think she can handle the change. Savanna is very sensitive to change. She is very observant of EVERYTHING around her. She is NOT shy in expressing her feelings, all of them.

I must say, despite how I must sound, this has been the best experience of my life.  I treasure each day I am home with her as I know this will not last. Savanna is pure joy. I am so lucky and blessed to be her mom.

How long did you say I'd be sleep deprived?

Now, the post that you have been waiting for... (written while the Queen is taking a nap. A miracle, my friends as she usually insists on sleeping ON me).

I arrived in Guatemala the night of 2/22/06. The airport is incredibly small, even smaller than the Burbank airport in CA. It was a pretty quiet scene, not many people in or outside the airport. Karen and I made it to the Marriott without incident. Karen was able to fall asleep quickly, not me. I was much too anxious about meeting Savanna for the first time the following day. I got maybe two hours of sleep at best.

At 9:50 a.m. on 2/23/06 Karen and I went to the lobby to meet Savanna, her foster mom, Aura, and Susanna the "escort"/translator. Near the entrance, I walked right into Aura, who was holding Savanna in the pretty pink sweat suit I bought for her. Aura was already crying. I don't know if I can even put words to the intensity of this experience. I had a rush of emotion like I've never felt before. I immediately started crying uncontrollably. Savanna was the most beautiful baby I had seen, ever. She gave me a big smile which melted my heart. It was by far, the happiest moment of my life. I also was very much aware of Aura's pain and shared in her sadness. Savanna was Aura's first foster child and provided her with such great care and love. She is a very special woman and will forever be a part of our lives.

Next, we went to an area with a bit more privacy and I was able to ask Aura all the questions that I prepared for her (see previous post). I gave her the diamond and peridot necklace I bought especially for her to remember Savanna by. She loved it and cried even more. Of course, I cried right along with her. I also gave her toys and clothes for the next foster child she would so dutifully care for. Another really great moment was having my two blog buddies, Angel and Stacy, present during the meeting. They had been following my story and were able to be "in the moment" with me. Stacy, who is a Spanish teacher in NY, was able to tell Aura about my love for Savanna and the type of home she would be raised in. Angel, who is an "angel", took many pictures. I hope we can all get together when we all have our girls! I'm hoping that day will be  VERY SOON!

Savanna was emotionally okay until night time. She didn't want to sleep in the crib even though she slept in one at Aura's house. She cried a lot, was very fussy. She was sneezing more, had a runny nose, and I could hear her chest rattle. She was awake most of the night. I carried her and rocked her the whole night. Every time she would look into my face she cried, sobbed. I felt so sad for her. I felt helpless to do anything to really help her. I did speak to her in Spanish (I memorized phrases of endearment), turned the t.v. on so that she would hear her native language.

On 2/24/06 Karen, Savanna, got up at the crack of dawn for a 7:15 a.m. Embassy appointment. Savanna was still cranky, sweaty. I was also beginning to feel very sick. The interview, if you can even call it that, was over before it started. The only question I was asked was, "when did you meet your daughter for the first time?". I told him and I was sent out. The next window I "swore in". After 3 hours it was done. I was told the Visa would be issued on 2/27 at 3:30 p.m.

Later that day, I began to worry about Savanna's health. I called the translator who called her doctor. The doctor was a great man. He did a thorough exam. Savanna had lost 1 lb, had a lung infection, and a history of intestinal problems. He gave me some meds and sent us on our way.

The next day Savanna was worse. I was worried she was going to become dehydrated from so much diarrhea. I stopped one of the meds to see if it would make a difference. The doctor was called again and he told me to get another med at the pharmacy. I did, but it didn't change her status much.

On 2/28 we happily flew home. It was a long trip. Savanna was sick, I was sick, Karen was getting over being sick. We had a lay over at Dallas Fort Worth-- we had to go through customs and immigration, re-check our luggage and catch our flight to LAX in 1 1/2 hours. We arrived in enough time to board the plane. VERY STRESSFUL. I was so happy when our plane landed at LAX.

I was hoping that I could have seen more of Savanna's homeland but I will have visit Guatemala at a later time.

I would highly recommend staying at the Marriott. The customer service was excellent. The familes I met were all wonderful.

I hope you enjoy the pictures. I was crying in most of them!

Thank you for sharing my journey in becoming a MOM.

Happy 7 month old birthday Savanna! You are such a ray of sunshine. I am thrilled and honored to be your mom. I love you, baby girl.

I've got myself quite a bundle of joy. Savanna smiles very quickly and has the most adorable contagious laugh. She loves to play "peek-a-boo", "ride the pony" (I bounce her up and down on my leg), and "kisses" (I kiss her neck and make a funny noise at the same time). She also has a good set of lungs on her too... she loves to coo LOUDLY. She is also more than capable of screaming when she wants something. I wouldn't describe her as "easy going". Savanna is definitely highly spirited! She is training me, and the rest of my family, about how she would like to be treated. I wasn't too far off when I said she was "Queen Savanna".  

I think the attachment and bonding experience is going in the right direction. Savanna gives me a big smile when she wakes up in the morning. She puts her arms out for me to pick her up. She likes to sleep sideways on my torso. She cries when I walk away from her. I think she knows I am there to help her, feed her, comfort her. I don't think she has the concept of my being her "mom" but that's fine for now. I am very pleased with our relationship thus far.

I took Savanna to the doctor (I had to pay out of pocket for her to see a pediatrician since my insurance company hasn't processed all of the paperwork yet). The doctor said her lungs are in good shape. She is still having a pooperia problem so guess who has to collect samples? Yes, you guessed correctly, ME. Hasn't been too bad since my nose is plugged up.

As previously posted, I was quite sick in Guatemala. When I came home, I took some of my mom's left over antibiotics and was starting to feel better. The pills ran out and I thought I could "kick" the rest of the illness on my own. NOT SO. I got even more sick. It went from strept throat to bronchitis. It has really done a number on my ability to breathe (asthma has really flared up). I have to use my nebulizer 6 x a day and will now be on antibiotics for 3 wks. I would feel so much better if I could just breathe normally. Breathing... something we just take for granted... So, I am still sick, weak, and trying not to tire out so quickly.

I will post some pictures of my trip to Guatemala next.

Oh, thank you for all your phone calls and emails. Your support and kind words mean the world to me.

First, I must apologize for not blogging in Guatemala. As I had feared, Savanna was a sick cookie. She came to me with respiratory problems and a bad case of diarrhea. I took her to her doctor in Guatemala (who came to the office just to see Savanna. Very kind man. Didn't charge me a dime either) who told me to give her the antibiotics that my cousin's wife prescribed for her prior to the trip. He prescribed a new med that made her diarrhea even worse. So the doctor had to prescribe another medication to get that problem better under control. Current status-- the Queen doesn't seem to have any symptoms of a respiratory problem but still needs to get the excessive bowel action under control.

The first night spent with Savanna was really difficult. She would look into my face and have a confused look and start to cry very pitifully. It broke my heart. I knew she was missing her foster mom. All I could do was hold her and talk softly to her. I did this the whole night. Each day that followed got easier.

I wasn't able to get out of the hotel except for a short visit to the store because Savanna was sick, then my sister, then me. I can't remember the last time I was this sick. Thankfully, my mom had left over antibiotics and they are doing the trick. I guess my immune system was shot to hell from all the stress and sleepless nights while in Guatemala. Here's to better days ahead!

I was so grateful to meet my bloggin' buddies, Angel and Stacy while in Guatemala. You two are beautiful souls and I'm so glad our paths crossed. I only wish we had more time to spend together. It's more than cool that you were able to be present when I met Savanna, her foster mom, and the translator/escort.

Savanna LOVES my mom, "Granny Goose", and my aunt, "Billy Goat". She is adjusting really well. She is pure joy to all of us. 

Well, my friends, I will stop for now and get a bit more rest. I will post pictures of my trip in a few days.